A UNIQUE PERSPECTIVE
Throughout my life I have often felt misunderstood, called “overly emotional”, and felt extremely self conscious with the pressure of possibly letting others down. I spent many years wondering if I was alone in my thoughts, or if everyone felt the same way and I was over complicating my feelings. It wasn’t until the beginning of this year that I learned I have ADHD. It filled me with instant relief and I felt truly justified for my beliefs about myself.
I have learned that many people, including many famous artists have been diagnosed, as well as believed to have ADHD. Many go undiagnosed, and as we grow we adapt to our surroundings, but still always feel distanced from the world around us.
I decided to create a show to help those become aware as well as understanding of mental illness, and the powerful change mental healing can be.
THE PROPOSAL
In my research and journey of ADHD, I made the decision to create three multi-hanging sculptures that captured the three defining characteristics of ADHD.
Depending on your stance, you are able to view different layers and images. If you are in on spot, standing still and never see a different angle, you will never know the true full image. But as we move around, we become more informed of the complete image, and are able to understand that our view might be different from the views of someone else. Mental health is different for everyone, but the more we understand and educate ourselves, the more we are able to appreciate the different views and thoughts of others.
THE INTROSPECTIVE NERVOUS SYSTEM
One of the main features of ADHD, that highly effects my life is the Introspace Nervous System. This acts as the motivational factor each person has. Minds with ADHD, will either fully commit to something, believing they are unstoppable, or they won’t even attempt it.
People with ADHD have a hard time fully engaging with a project or task unless they are passionate, are creatively inclined, competitive, or have a sense or urgency about each project.
For this piece, I wanted to illustrate the cellular level that ADHD has on the brain. Affecting the biological makeup of who you are, how you think, and how you act.
Using an abstracted silhouette of the brain, I overlapped organic textures, mimicking cells and neuron sequences. Using bold and inverted color pallets to demonstrate the unique views, outlooks, and thought processes I personally have in my creative and personal life.
REJECTION SENSITIVITY DISFORIA
One of the characteristics of ADHD, that I personally suffer most from is Rejection Sensitivity Disforia. It is unique to people with ADHD. RSD causes high levels of rejection and emotional vulnerability.
Many people, myself included, describe this as an almost constant feeling of a giant aching hole in their chest.
For this piece, I wanted to indicate the harsh lonely feelings I and many others can feel, especially when undiagnosed. Similar to an aching chest, I began by creating layers with a dark monochromatic color pallet, and textured moody imagery.
I created engraved acrylic sheets to demonstrate the entangled feeling one can feel inside, while showing hints of the layers and feelings below.
HYPERACTIVITY/HYPERAROUSAL
Hyperactivity is best correlated to ADHD, but only fully effects about 20% of those effected by it. While others may be more physically overzealous, it is my mind that is personally always bouncing and cogs turning.
People with hyperactivity have multiple thoughts happening at one time and are usually unable to shut down at night. Their brains are constantly thinking or doing multiple things simultaneously.
For this final piece, I wanted to depict the excitable chaos that ADHD can have on your life. Whether mentally or physically, the gears are always churning, leaving you exhausted at the end of the day.
Using an abstract illusion of a pelvis, I chose strong optical illusions as my patterns and color pallets, playing with the eyes of the viewer, not allowing them to rest in any particular spot. It is always moving.
VIRTUAL SHOW
Due to the Covid-19 Pandemic, we as a cohort were unable to host a in person gallery show. Instead, we created a virtual exhibit to share with audiences. I created my website in hopes of showing all the different angles my work could be viewed.
Using gifs, video, and detail photography, I composed collections that displayed each sculpture from all sides. I wanted my BFA website to embody the idea of mental illness, so I used warping effects along the type and header images.
HEADCASE
This project has truly pushed me to grow mentally, emotionally, physically, and artistically. I am now able to understand the unique views I, and others have of the world around us. The ability to learn and explore different viewpoints, gives the world more beauty, and allows us to gain more than we ever thought possible. I’m so thankful to my family and friends how have supported me through my life. Their support in my growth, as well as this time-consuming project has been crucial in both our successes. Because of them, I have become happier and grown into someone that I never believed possible.
I would also like to thank my teachers, who have believed in me from the beginning and pushed me and supported me to become a better artist. They have opened up so many doors for my future that I am so eager to take. Thanks for an amazing time at Utah Valley University.
